ang darker side ni Jadeite

Have you watched Chasing Amy? It is rather unconventional but the film was good. And some of the lines hit the mark (right off my chest) and somehow, this quote probably best suited what I want to tell LC right now…

I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t, I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably ruin our friendship but I had to say it, because I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn’t allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I’ll accept that. But I know… I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that – and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. There isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can’t deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which – while I do appreciate it – I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

Matagal ko ng alam itong wordpress. Hindi ko lang pinapansin. Kasi isa akong seasonal blogger. Meaning, hindi ko talaga kinakarir ang pagboblog. Ang dami ko talagang blog sites na inumpisahan pero ngayon inaaamag na yata yung iba dahil hindi na ako nagpopost.

Ang mga dahilan..

1. Poser kasi ako. Gusto ko yung sinusulat ko naman kahit papano mukhang pinag-isipan. Kunwari may effort para makakabog ng bumabasa.

2. Pag nagsusulat ako sa kabilang blog ko, madalas puro positive reinforcement ang laman nun. Para kahit papano, maging source of inspiration ako ng iba.

3. Ang mga sinusulat ko e yung tipong magpapaalis sa trono ni Judy Ann Santos bilang Api Queen. Tungkol sa lovelife, mga kaeklatan na mas madalas nagiging emo pa ako.

Kung wala ako sa poser mode, cheery self or Judy Ann Santos complex, mas madalas hindi ako makakasulat.

So bakit naisipan ko pang gumawa ulet ng bagong blog?

E kasi ang hindi ko pa nasusubukang gawin sa blog ko e ang magtaray, magpakasabog at magpakagaga lang. Maging kiber lang sa mga sasabihin ng iba.

So try ko dito sa wordpress.

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