DISCLAIMER: Hindi po ako nang-ookray ng mga third kind ha. Actually, advocate pa ako ng GLBT Empowerment, pero I am not saying I am one of them. I just support their idealism. Kaya please lang, bawal ang violent reaction, churva about discrimination at kung anu-anong nega sa buhay. Okei?!
I just received an email today from a very close friend, who happens to be gay and sure knows what my sexual preference is.
This is the gist of the email.
“Hi Jadeite! This message is to inform you that you have received a personal invitation from your friend, [Insert friend's name here], to join them at GayGuysChat.com“.
My Reaction:
1. initial reaction after reading the email: WTF?!
2. second glance at the email: [insert friend's name here], knows I am a girl right?
3. third browse the email: What the hell is he thinking? Is [insert friend's name here] really my friend????!!!
My explanation:
1. I am a Girl. Woman. Lady. – Although I am not really that young, hence cannot be called a girl anymore, doesn’t have the right proportion to be called a woman, and doesn’t earned the sophistication and proper behavior of a lady but still, I know for a fact what my sexual orientation is.
2. I had already passed that identity crisis stage. The I-don’t-know-myself, me had been dead already. Past is past. I do not have any regret but I don’t want to go back in there anymore. (Uiii… parang nangangamoy secret ah!)
3. Kung minsan ugaling palengkera, cheap parlorista at babaeng bakla ako, pero hindi pa po ako tumawid dun. (Kung saan man yun). And wala po akong balak gawin yun. Too kingky for my taste. (hihihihihi)
—–
Hindi ito ang unang pangyayari na napagkakamalan akong miyembro ng “Federation”. Ewan ko ba. Dati naman, akala nila obit ako. Oo na, boses lalake ako (pero bakit si Demi Moore, sabi nyo husky ang boses nya??!!). Oo din na malakas akong magnomo (uminom) at astigin din ako, pero namaaannn… siyempre nakasanayan ko na yun. Karamihan sa barkada mo, lalaki e, kasama mo sa trabaho, karamihan lalaki, tapos tinuturing ka pa nila na one of the guys, siyempre hawa-hawa din yan.
Pero wag ka, nakatatlong invitation na ako sa Friendster, Multiply at chat sa Skype telling me na interesado sila. At take note, hindi sila mga chaka. Sa mga pinapadala nilang pictures sa akin e nakakainsecure pa nga sila kung minsan e. Ang sesexy, ang gaganda at pati ang personality nila sobrang nakakakabog!
So ngayon, ang tanong.
1. Bakit ako napagkakamalan na gay?
2. Bakit ako napagkakamalan na butch?
3. Kasalanan ko ba to?
4. Am I the source of confusion to the people around me? Am I giving them mixed signals?
Ewan. Hindi ko alam. Ayoko sagutin.
Pero kung itatanong mo yan sa mga naging Mathboys ko (i.e. “X”) e wala naman silang reklamo. Babae naman ang nakuha nila. Hindi naman daw sila nalugi.
Kung iyong mga testimonial nila e enough na, hindi na ako kikibo. Pero kung kulang pa, saka na ako, maghahagilap ng ebidensya.
Yun na.
